Food Relaxes Me

Okay, it doesn't really relax me but am I the only one who finds herself eating to relax? More than half the time I eat something bad for me and end up feeling kind of sick.

I always tell myself I'll eat better on the weekend but then I eat junk because I'm trying to relax.

So not eating to relax will be a New Year's resolution. This should help me win the "Bigg*st Los*r" competition I'm having with my siblings. We are each chipping in $100 and whomever has lost the most weight (percentage of body weight?) at the end of 3 months wins the money.

For the month of December, I fell off the dieting wagon. Getting really sick (flu) for a couple of weeks did not help! January 1st I'll be back on the wagon. Really I will.

Not Me Monday!

What "haven't" you done this past week?

• At a friend's house on Friday, in the bathroom, I did not knock over her talcum powder when attempting to pick it up to sniff it. No, I do not feel the need to smell my friend's bath products. I'm not that scent obsessed. Or am I?
• I've been so good at sticking to a healthy diet that I did not eat 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream over the past week. And I did not get a horrible migraine on Thursday which left me useless throughout the weekend. Nope, not me! I never eat things which can lead to migraines.
• I have not written several posts in my head but not on my blog.
• And my main goal in writing this post is not to enter a contest.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Seven Days

Seven Days. You can do just about anything for 7 days, right? I've been wanting to go back to strictly adhering to the raw food diet but it just hasn't been happenning. I finally decided to commit to 7 days, which I hope will turn into 30 days.

I'm on Day 2. Worst thing I've eaten? Coffee with a little goat milk. I had a migraine this morning but instead of turning to junk food, I decided to stick to my diet. And tonight I feel much better! It's amazing the difference in my energy levels and how I feel overall on this diet.

Is it just me or do you find you need to see a large weight loss at the beginning of your diet to really inspire you? Sort of a jump start.

What does the diet entail? Mostly raw fruits and vegetables with some nuts, legumes and grains. I'm going with an 80% raw diet, meaning I still eat about 1/2 to 1 cup of cooked food per day. Tonight I had rice crackers. Yum, right? They are better than rice cakes.

Catching Up, Part I

Wow! Has it really been 3 months since I last blogged?

The highlights of the past 3 months inlcudes: a trip to Hawaii, my most difficult co-worker resigning and moving.

I had a wonderful time in Hawaii. Too bad it ate up all my vacation time. (If we have to move to socialized healthcare, I want the vacation/maternity leave that other socialized countries enjoy). I stayed with an old friend I haven't seen in years whose husband is stationed in Honolulu. It was so fun to enjoy Hawaii from an insider's prospective. For the next leg of the trip, I went to Kauai where I met up with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, aunt, uncle & cousins. That was a blast!

Coming back to reality is always hard. Can't I just always be on vacation? On my return to work, I was very hurt when none of my coworkers asked about my vacation. The one who shows up late did remember to ask as did the person on medical leave when she returned a few weeks later. But, really, how rude is it to not even bother to ask about your coworker's vacation?

The day before I left for Hawaii, I went in to give my 60 day notice for my current place. They offerred me a bigger place + a garage for less money so when I got back I got the ball rolling on my move. You'd think moving from one apartment to another within the same complex would be so easy. It was the worst move ever. And I've moved a lot so I think I have a good handle on moving. I had no one to help me pack/move except the movers I hired for a few hours on Saturday.

With the move from June wearing me out, I still feel not quite settled in. My guest room is still full of boxes. I think i need to get rid of lots of stuff. Except the smaller clothes. I'll fit into those eventually, right?

On the Right Track

I went to my 2nd Weight Watchers meeting this evening and found that I've lost 2.6 pounds! Definitely what I needed to see since the first week was so rough. There were times where I wanted to tell my stomach I wasn't giving it more food no matter how much it complained.

Now I just need to add in working out. And eating not just less, but healthier.

On a side note, I seem to have a touch of a stomach bug since last night. This has definitely helped decrease my hunger!

Thanks for the encouragement. :)

It Was Time

Have I mentioned that in the past 2 years, I’ve gained 60 pounds? I used to be able to fit into a size 6. Keep in mind I’m 5’2” so a 4/6 is just about right for me and my body type. I honestly don’t even know what my size is now. Nor do I want to. I’ve avoided this by only wearing skirts/pants/shorts with elastic waist bands. Ah, elastic waist bands! They allow me to live in denial.

I gained about 25 of it while with J who kept taking me out to eat. He gained 30 which makes me feel sooo much better! ;) I’ve never, ever gained weight while dating a guy. I was just so happy and not paying attention. I’ve learned a valuable lesson – being happy in your dating relationship does not mean you can eat whatever you want without consequence.

Where did the other 35 pounds come from? When I was really sick everything I ate seemed to go straight through me. Since it didn’t matter what I ate, I ate whatever I wanted. This led to me fitting into a size 6. Can you tell I miss being a size 6? I know, I know. A size does not define me but it sure made shopping for clothes fun!

Once I started getting better, I didn’t change my eating habits. Thus, I gained about 15 pounds in a few months. Then I moved in with my parents. My parents who put restrictions on what I could eat. They had my best interests in mind – they know if I eat well, I’ll feel good. And that started me on hiding food and picking up fast food nearly every time I left the house alone. Healthy, right? And that’s where the other 20 pounds came from.

I did lose a few pounds before I started dating J…

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been trying to go Raw. Yet, I still find myself eating junk in addition to the healthy stuff. Juicing (carrots & spinach mostly) has been a lifesaver for me. While I’ve lost a few pounds since the beginning of the year, I know I haven’t been doing great since the scale hasn’t really moved in the past month or 2.

For the past few weeks, I’ve told myself if I don’t lose weight this week, I’m joining Weight Watchers. Well, I took the plunge last Monday. So, I’ve spent the past week hungry but am hopeful that I really am losing weight since I’m following the plan.

Currently, I’m allotted 24 points/day plus 35 bonus points/week. On Monday, I calculated my points for the day and I used 33.5. And that was a “light” day for me, so it’s clear why I haven’t been losing weight. Since then, I’ve pretty much kept it under 30 (except for Friday when I indulged in 32 points). This week is all about just making it through the week without using too many points.

I even went to Einstein Bros. this morning and had a bagel with cream cheese and a latte.

Small Update

I can't believe I haven't blogged in 3 months. I've thought about it, but there's so much I want to tell you so I just put it off and now there's even more to share:

A few days after the breakup, I had a grand mal seizure at work. It wasn't my first, but it had been nearly 8 years since the last one. It was definitely caused by a new medicine I was on. The ex even went with me to the ER. I still miss him.

I had a birthday. I'm still in denial about getting older. How can I possibly be 32 when I feel maybe 27? Where has the time gone?

My much younger brother got married. That's been tough to deal with.

Work is difficult. Mostly it's the environment. And the lack of leadership. I don't think my coworkers are taking too well to the breakup. I'm not used to people not liking me and being just plain mean about it. It's like being back in high school.